The Good, The Bad & The Gray
Welcome to The Good The Bad and The Gray Podcast, a compass in life's labyrinth, shining a light on relationships, wellness, and personal growth. Join me as I share insights and interview diverse guests. Together, we'll discuss highs, lows, and the in-between, offering perspectives on health, career, and more. Tune in for candid conversations that peel back life's layers, revealing the good, the bad, and the gray with hues from light to dark.
The Good, The Bad & The Gray
Ch 2: Ep. 2| Hookups, Hype, and Healing Ft. Christian Brown
What does it truly mean to be a man in today's world? CJ "Big Siege" joins us for a powerful, unfiltered conversation about masculinity, mental health, and navigating relationships in an increasingly complex landscape.
From the moment we dive in, CJ shares his journey toward embracing positive change while letting go of toxic situations and people. This sets the stage for a vulnerable exploration of how social media distorts our expectations—particularly for young men trying to find their footing in the world. "Your whole personality should not be from the internet," CJ cautions, highlighting how digital culture often rewards harmful behaviors while devaluing genuine connection.
The conversation takes an insightful turn when we tackle what defines authentic manhood. Rather than relying on stereotypes, CJ offers a refreshing perspective: "If you stand for your principles and hold yourself to your standards—not everybody else's—that's what makes you a man." We explore how father figures shape male development at different life stages, and what happens when that guidance is missing.
Mental health emerges as the cornerstone issue affecting men today. "Mental health is everything. If you ain't got your head on straight, you really just running idle," CJ explains. We discuss practical approaches to developing mental toughness, regulating ego, and finding balance between vulnerability and strength. For men struggling with depression, the advice is straightforward: prayer, physical activity, therapy, and intentional solitude can all be powerful tools.
The dating segment pulls no punches as we examine modern relationship challenges—from unrealistic expectations fueled by social media to the prominence of hookup culture. Through personal stories and honest reflection, we unpack what healthy masculinity looks like in relationships and why it's centered on presence rather than power.
Join us for this essential conversation about what men need to thrive in today's world. Subscribe for more discussions that dive beneath the surface of wellness, personal growth, and relationships.
Welcome to the good, the bad and the great podcast, where we shine a light on wellness, personal growth and relationships. Together, we'll discuss highs and lows and the in-betweens, offering different perspectives on health and wellness. Tune in as we peel back the layers of life, revealing the good, bad and the great. Welcome back to the good, the bad and the great podcast. I got a special guest in the building. We've actually recorded three or four podcasts before. Nothing has made it. Nothing has made it to the actual Stop and pod. Hey, yo shout out to you Stop and pod is going to be a thing actually, so we'll talk more about that. Today. I got a special guest in the building. This is my guy. I've seen him grow from, like you know, being an occasional gym goer to an advocate, an avid gym, a person that is in the gym every single day. Let me see your face. But welcome to the pod, bro. Cj Big Siege.
Speaker 2:What it do, man. What it do For those who don't know my name is Christian. Everybody call me Siege man. Tell us a little bit about you, Siege, when you from. I'm from, Tuscaloosa, I'm 24. And you know, just growing every day, man. That's what it's all about.
Speaker 1:Straight up, straight up. So this is a new chapter in the pod and what we're doing for every guest. So we want to kind of start off by asking them one simple question. Well, it's two questions all in one. What?
Speaker 2:are you saying hello to and what are you saying goodbye to? What I'm saying hello to Is change, so like changes that I can control and that I can't control. So it's like I never want to be stagnant or complacent, so I'm saying hello to change. What I'm saying goodbye to Is toxic situations and toxic people. It don't serve me no purpose, so I'm saying goodbye to that. And yeah, what about you?
Speaker 1:Me Today. Oh, today, Today I got to do this again. All right, every episode I guess I'm saying hello to man. Man, You're saying hello to something. What is that about, bro, what you trying to say? Yo, I'm saying hello to you, know last episode. I would say hello to love and Service.
Speaker 2:I think today, though, Like love as in Not to cut you off love as in like just Spreading love, but like personal. What type of love we talking here?
Speaker 1:It's a good question, my brother, yo, all of the above Spreading love, I think you know. Just to kind of put it in a nutshell, last podcast if you guys haven't listened, that episode is Hello, the Art of Hello and Goodbye. But last episode I was talking about, you know, saying hello to love in terms of relationship, but I also mean that in terms of like spreading it.
Speaker 2:That's a big step, because in the stopping pod it wasn't too bright for that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was a different time.
Speaker 2:That's what?
Speaker 1:two months? Different Two months yeah 60 days can do some stuff bro.
Speaker 2:Okay, man.
Speaker 1:Man been looking in the mirror. Yeah, yes, sir.
Speaker 2:That's what it's all about. Man Ain't nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I'm saying hello to that as well. I think also, you know, just kind of thinking about what I've been going through Recently is I'm also saying hello To allowing people to flow, allowing people to go through their own personal ebbs and flow and not take it personal, and that's something I've done pretty good in the past, but I want to continue to do that. Just say hello to people, being them, like hey, they're not always going to flow in this direction. Yeah, sometimes they're going to flow in, like you know everybody can't flow in the direction you're flowing.
Speaker 1:100 everybody get their own current man. There you go. You see what I'm saying. But you know, I think the saying is rising tides lift all boats. So as I flow, he looked.
Speaker 2:Hey bro, ain't no ocean man, ain't no semen man.
Speaker 1:Look for me when I'm, you know, semen. For me what that means is like, as I'm starting to climb and push forward, you know, I want to make sure I lift every single individual that is in that circle or that's in my proximity, um, any best way I can. I'm not saying I'm going to force someone to do something, but I'm going to support them as much as I can, as I'm going on that, that, that incline, if that makes sense. So, yeah, I'm saying goodbye to toxic people. I think I'm.
Speaker 2:I'm similar to that with you on that toxic people everybody need, Everybody need to open up a book how to Not Be Toxic.
Speaker 1:Break that. Unpack that, bro. What is toxic about the individuals that you've been?
Speaker 2:with, and it don't even have to be like relationship toxicness, it's just like people, like social media controls a lot of people, whether they believe it or not.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God bro, and the things that social media push or like that, a lot of things that younger, the younger generation looks into or pays attention to, they ain't gonna say they shouldn't be. Like, there should be certain things that you shouldn't learn of the internet. Your whole personality should not be from the internet, like and it's just all about toxicness, like they push these shows, and of just fighting or being toxic, and that's not a good look because, like, not everybody is open to that. Not everybody is going to want that. Everybody shouldn't want that. You shouldn't. Whether you're in a relationship or being in a friendship. You should not be a person that's constantly bringing somebody down or always in the middle of some BS. You get what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's like nah, it ain't cute on nobody, man nor woman, or you know so you're basically saying it's social media that forces, or that is making more people toxic. I'm saying like, yes, it's mostly social media, but some people are just ugly inside and out, Dang.
Speaker 1:You can be pretty on the outside but ugly on the inside.
Speaker 2:You might.
Speaker 1:That actually is going to segue into our topic today. We got a few topics we want to cover. First topic is friendships. In terms of that, friendships okay, I do want to kind of dive into that because I think in the last part we kind of briefly talked about those Friendships are relationships, yes, and you kind of see who you bond with based off of what they serve. And I think a lot of times we meet people and we are like, oh cool, this person is so dope, but and we get into this like, oh, we say we put expectations on those individuals, like I have a bad problem with that, like I treat somebody how I want to be treated and then I'd be like, oh, they wouldn't do that you put those expectations on them.
Speaker 2:And I got to learn to stop doing that. You know what I'm saying. I got to learn to be more stoic and, just you know, move the way I should move instead of the way that I do move 100%. Nah, everybody ain't like that. Nah, that's what I'm, that's probably what I need to let go of For real.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's what you're saying goodbye to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like trying to Make sure everybody's straight the whole time. I don't need to do that.
Speaker 1:I've been there, bro, like when you try to like Make sure you check in, like you Supporting every single person, and you start to realize those people are not reciprocating that energy, that shit draining.
Speaker 1:It takes a lot out of you, bro, it's draining it takes a lot out of you. But here's the thing and this is like on my past journey I started to realize, and I kind of will segue into it is like you have to figure out who they're serving in the moment and I think you alluded to that in the beginning too with social media. A lot of people now are serving social media. A lot of people serve toxic bullshit, right. And so when you get in that bond or that friendship with them, you need to understand that that's how you stay stoic. You say, okay, cool, I know this person is really serving that intention. They get on social media. So I need to not set expectations, but also I need to set a boundary with this person, because if not, you're going to fall and get caught up in that toxic, and then you know what happened with that.
Speaker 2:When you do that, what's that Now they be like oh you moving, funny You're moving toxic. There's a lot of manipulation going on when it comes in terms of that. Sometimes you just got to ignore that shit. So it's like you can't just sit there. Somebody can't make you feel bad for doing what's best for you.
Speaker 1:It's your life.
Speaker 2:And that may sound selfish, but sometimes you got to be selfish.
Speaker 2:That's true, that's what I'm saying. You have to be selfish because if you don't stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything. You'll fall for somebody treating you like shit the whole time. You trying to be that nice person and get in the world. Amen, amen. Preaching up there I ain't gonna necessarily say preaching, I had to realize that you know what I'm saying. I'm super nice. And then, like nala nala said to them, tell me, you can't be nice to everybody. Like what you mean. Like I had to really deep dive into, like what she was saying and, as coming into this year, like I really realized I can't be nice to everybody yeah some people.
Speaker 2:Some people think I'm flirting with them whole time. I wouldn't want to talk to them. Some people think I'm like a pushover, some shit, whole time. I'm not. It's just like you can't just be nice, like sometimes you gotta stand up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think, man, you just dropped some bars in In terms of nice, now I agree you can't be nice, you can be kind now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but that's, that's what I'm saying, that's how you know You're not going In the right direction, cause, like being nice the word is so used to toxicness, and it's like it shouldn't be like that, so I think so let's break those two down, like the difference between nice and kind.
Speaker 1:I think nice is when someone can take advantage of what you're doing for them, right? I think kind is like you're showing an act but you're not, you know, changing the way you move or the time you're moving for someone else. But if you're nice, you you'll lay everything out for that person, yeah, and they're gonna take full advantage of you. Got, we gotta stop doing that. You can't be nice in these streets.
Speaker 1:But but, on that note, man like and this is something I um I've heard today, this weekend is like you can't let cement dry, um, in terms of relationships. So what I mean by that, you know, when cement is kind of wet you still can kind of mold it. So when you get into like a friendship or a relationship, you need to make sure that you're able to mold those things in the beginning, because once it's dry, and you're trying to change it, it's going to get messy man boy.
Speaker 2:you said something there. It's going to get messy, bro it is Bro, and when you walk away, you just gotta, you just gonna have to walk away. You can't fix it, yeah, you can't Imagine putting cement Back together.
Speaker 1:What happened? They had to drop more cement and that's even more, you know, chaos, nah. So yeah, I think that's huge what you just said, but let's get into Some questions, alright. So what we got? We got A Renee in the building. She's going to help us out with some questions today. A Renee, what's our first question?
Speaker 3:Well, y'all having a good conversation up there. I want to know, as far as finding purpose as a man, what does it mean to be a man?
Speaker 1:Ooh, masculinity, let's go Jizzle, it's on you, I ain't going to lie when it comes to that.
Speaker 2:I really don't have a definition for that, because it's like I had to raise myself, in a sense, to be a man. I was, like I'm a mama. So it's like when it's put into the forefront of like we got to be strong, like we can't never show a sign of weakness or this, that or that, or it's like you either got to be real or tough or gangsta or whatever. My thing is it's just when it comes to being a man, bro, like a man can stand for many principles. If you don't have no principles, or, like you, you follow the wrong things or you carry yourself in foul or flawed ways, you're not a man to me, but like, if you can go up, get up every day, try to be better once a day, every day, and get after it, and I can, I can respect that you know, what I'm saying, but that may be different for you.
Speaker 2:Like, everybody got their own thing, but I had to teach myself how to be a man, so when I think about manhood, I think about, I go straight into masculinity.
Speaker 1:You know, and that you know, each male and female have a certain amount masculine energy or feminine energy. I think masculine energy today, when you're talking specifically about a man, is different from when it was 50 years ago. It's different from 10 years ago, right, because we're evolving as a species, we're evolving as a— Evolving the wrong way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you paint your nails the wrong way. Hell, no, I'm just asking, that's what. I'm saying we gonna Like come on, bro, we can't, we can't.
Speaker 1:Yo, that's wild, but you know. So hold on Jizzle Now. At the same time, yeah, we gotta make sure that we we approach those individuals With judgment. No.
Speaker 2:It's no judgment Like. You know what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying. Everybody had their own thing as their thing. Yeah, and everybody, love everybody. I ain't judging nobody, it's nothing. But at the same time it's like you can't to me. You cannot sit up here and call yourself a man.
Speaker 2:And you walking around with smiley faces on your nails, bro. That's crazy. Why not? Because it's like I get you showing your personality, but it's like Certain things Shouldn't be for us. You know what I'm saying. And it's like Certain people have their thing and certain people Don't have their thing. I'm not. I can't respect you. You walk around With your nails painted Like I, and there's nothing Against people that do that. Because I have people Of all walks of life Around me Gay, straight, bisexual. Like I have an uncle who is gay and I love him to death. I treat him just like a regular person. I treat people like people because that's what they are. I'm not judging you on this or that thing, but like if he had come up to me and be like I'm not doing that shit, like it's just certain things I wouldn't do you know what, bro?
Speaker 1:It's crazy that you mention that. I used to talk to a girl In undergrad and she asked me a question. She was like how would you feel If your son played with dolls and painted their nails? And I was, and you know I'm gonna be honest, at the time I was like what? Yeah, nah, you shut down Like we ain't doing that.
Speaker 2:But it's Like certain things do change, like at the same time you can instill principles or how to carry themselves as a man, as a child, to your child, but at the same time your child is going to be who your child is.
Speaker 2:It's up to you to love that child. Certain people disarm. I'm never going to disarm my kids. My kids can do whatever they want, but at the same time they're going to carry themselves in how they need to carry themselves. I'm not against nothing, but at the same time, some some things like it's just like your principles and your morals are going to be there.
Speaker 1:I I think, you know, when she said it I react that way and we kind of got in the back and forth and it's kind of like more of a a good, bad and a great moment in terms of like our perspective. Because I couldn't meet her in the middle. I was like no, because in my mind he starts doing that he could think he could do All these other things that attach to it. Yeah, and this is how I was thinking at the time. So, but what you said Is what I kind of learned and taught myself Over the past years Past. That Is like, if you're teaching them Principles and morals that are that embody In my eyes what a masculine man or what a protector or provider man or what a protector or provider is supposed to be, then you don't have anything to worry about. Yeah, that's what.
Speaker 2:I'm saying so. It's like they can love or do whatever they want, but at the same time, if you're going to do certain things, still carry yourself how you need to carry yourself. Don't let nobody disrespect you, don't overly do too much at the same time and then go for a boy or go for a girl, but like, just don't, don't let people devalue who you are. Yeah, you know what I'm saying and there's a lot of judgment that goes across a lot of people. What's the saying? You throw a stone and hide your hand?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what I'm saying so like a lot of people going to do that. And with social media, a lot of people do that. Like I know people that get messed up because of the comments. These people don't know you At all. Don't know you at all.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:They don't even know how old you are, right, they just see what you put out there and you take that to heart.
Speaker 1:Nah, nah, that's true.
Speaker 2:You got to learn how to stand up for yourself and believe in yourself. If you don't believe in yourself, then what's the point?
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying. So what does it mean to be a man? And I think you're saying like, essentially it's different for everybody.
Speaker 2:But to put it all in one box. A man is to stand for your purpose and your principles.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Hold yourself to your standard. Okay, not to everybody else's standard 100%.
Speaker 1:Okay, I like that. I like that. Hey, renee, what's our next question?
Speaker 3:Okay, this is. I'm interested to see what CJ is going to say.
Speaker 1:Let's go Jizzle.
Speaker 3:Because why do men need other men in their life?
Speaker 1:Or do you?
Speaker 3:think men need other men Because your situation is a little unique you didn't have a father figure.
Speaker 2:It depends on what phase of life you're in. Like, if you're a child, you need certain need, certain things from a father figure, like I had. I had uncles and stuff. Those are my father figures, um.
Speaker 2:But as far as actually having a dad as a child, you're gonna want those days you go to school, you see their kids having their father daughter dance, or, like you, seeing kids actually have their father in their life. So you're gonna want that because those are core memories. Those are things, things you're going to remember forever. As you get a little older, they can show you things that your mom can't show you, like how to shave, what to do as far as changing attire, changing oil, or like being on your own out there, how to carry yourself when it comes to people messing with you, when it comes to fights, when it comes to dating, like it's important to have that because, for one, they can give you their perspective of how their life was and it also can give you that advice on how to carry you when you become your own man, because not not saying you have to take everything that they say and make it you.
Speaker 2:You can be your own man, but at the same time, in different phases of life, you do need that. That Right now, I would say. For me, the reason I would say I don't need that now is because I'm older. Only thing you can give me now is advice. But back when I was like from 16 to 20, I needed that because it was more so. I was in a space of, like, finding out the other side of my family. You know what I'm saying, saying so now it's like I've accepted it. It would bother me sometime, yeah, but like it's very important coming up, come in the younger years of your life, of having that father figure.
Speaker 1:Now you, you probably can speak a little different yeah, um, so I was raised in a single parent home. Uh, for like the second part of my childhood first part I was raised with my grandparents, so I kind of like had my granddad up until like 10 or 10-ish, but after that I just had my mom and that's it.
Speaker 1:And it was a house full of girls me and three girls. A house full of girls too. Wild work, yeah, so that was wild. But what I've seen and this is something I can attest to is I think I would say yes, I think you need a male presence in your life for majority of your life. Now, the first phase as kids, and you know as a teenager, you need a man. If you're a boy or a man, a boy, at the time I feel like you need a man to show you what to do, so you don't make the bad decisions right, because if not, you're going to make all the bad decisions, but you're going to teach yourself.
Speaker 2:You're going to learn the hard way. You're either going to teach yourself or somebody's going to teach you Meaning. You're either going to learn what not to do or you're going to be in jail, and it's sad to say that but either they're going to teach you or your mom's going to teach you or somebody, and typically she's not going to teach you the correct way to handle things, no way.
Speaker 1:And uh, I know my mom did the best she did she could, uh. But yeah, and I think, as you get into like young adult, young man 20s, 30s I think you should have a mentor or someone that you can lean on and have certain conversations with because, as we kind of talked about earlier, masculinity is kind of evolving now. Yeah, so back. So back then you said this man, you couldn't talk about how you feel, no, you couldn't say certain things. But I think now, being that you know women are calling on in society, it's calling on a different type of masculinity, because the world is going towards a different way.
Speaker 2:I think, I don't know, it's just when they come to you. You hit a nail on the head. Go ahead, it's that you hit a nail on the head. Go ahead Like they calling for a different type of masculinity.
Speaker 1:They are, they are.
Speaker 2:More so in my generation. They masculinity is a check, like they not.
Speaker 1:They're bad.
Speaker 2:Like you know what I'm saying. Like if you don't have that, you're not, you can't do nothing for them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what I'm saying, that's true. Well, it Like now.
Speaker 3:Excuse me, that's not all women, just so y'all know.
Speaker 2:No, I'm not saying it's all women, but you are what you attract. I'm not going to lie, though, certain women that I attract, or most women that I've been introduced to in this generation, if you ain't coming with no bag, they not.
Speaker 1:They don't want to see if you ain't got no money. I had a conversation with somebody today. I was like, yeah, bro, oh, my academic advisor, he teaches. He was like, yeah, I'm getting in the gym. I was like, doc, you got money. Like that's all he really wanted.
Speaker 2:You don't need to get in the gym. No, I'm telling you, dude, you don't need the gym.
Speaker 3:But you can walk out with something that love you to death, right, but if you ain't got that, check dang that's, that's tough, man, that's tough no, I'm not gonna say like a woman doesn't want, like a broke man but, as long as you you know providing in a sense, then that works it for me specifically.
Speaker 2:But that, like certain people, that only comes when you hit that. You hit that maturity level, like that's why I'm like I still deal with some people that don't even have that maturity level and that's on me for dealing with them. But at the same time it's like it's rare to come across that woman that's going to understand that there's also going to want to be with you and that doesn't have nothing on the side providing her with that expectation that she's requiring.
Speaker 2:So it's rare to find that. Most of the time it ain't going to lie, like I say, if a female walked down to me or I walked down on a female, but then the first five minutes is where we're going on a date or like there's something monetary. Or you can suggest a date and be like let's go to the park, let's do a picnic, something cute, something actually thoughtful, and actually what a date is to be considered and actually what a date is to be considered Nah they ain't going.
Speaker 3:You're younger, so y'all still having fun. Nobody really trying to. A lot of people in your age range aren't trying to settle down yet.
Speaker 2:Y'all having fun, they over there, I ain't having fun.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to lock it in.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to lock it in. I ain't getting no younger.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, go ahead with y'all. I think we're moving on for the album then.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so let's kind of shift from being a man or finding the purpose, as a man, to mental health and dating Oof. So what does mental health mean to y'all?
Speaker 2:before I ask these other questions, To me, mental health is everything, Because I've not me personally. I just dealt with having to help one of my friends through a deep mental like didn't want to be here, no more crisis. So it's like that's everything. If you ain't got your head on straight, you really just running idle at this point because it's like certain things can change, affect how you are mentally. If you don't have that mental toughness, like it is gonna be hard for you. You gotta develop that mental toughness. You have to sit up here and work on yourself. You gotta pray, get in the gym, do something that actually elevates you and your mental health. If you, if you have to go talk to somebody, do that, try, at least try. If you're not trying to work on your mental health, mental health, then it, then it's just like it's GG's man.
Speaker 3:It's what.
Speaker 2:Good game, oh, gg's.
Speaker 3:She's like what is GG's Until you're a little older. You're older now.
Speaker 1:No you're good, yo Go ahead and pose that question again.
Speaker 3:What does mental health mean to you?
Speaker 1:He kind of like bodied it pretty much.
Speaker 3:You're older, you can't have the same answer.
Speaker 1:So, I think, when it comes to mental health, I think mental health means to me is knowing your emotional state of mind, knowing how and what you can handle in certain circumstances, in certain circumstances Most importantly, relationships, friendships or intimate relationships I think mental health also is knowing how to deal with your emotions.
Speaker 1:When you're in your career, because a lot of people deal with the imposter syndrome, and that could be even in school, like your classwork Some people you get into situations where you think that everyone around you is, you know, legit and you're not and you're not you know worth or you don't measure up to those levels, and I think your mental health plays a huge part in that.
Speaker 1:I think ultimately though this is one of the things I kind of dealt with in the past and I think most men don't talk about is depression right when you go through that depression phase? I think mental health is also knowing how to regulate your ego, because your ego can assist you in those depressing moments, and what I mean by that is, if you think about it, what does your ego even use for right? It boosts you up, it makes you feel you know big right, but the opposite of that is you're not feeling big is, which is depression. So a lot of people don't know how to manage their ego enough to support them when they're depressed, in a way when they don't have something, where they don't have someone, when they're losing, uh, something, when they're grieving, that ego is really there to assist you in those moments. But what happens is we get so much of it that dopamine hit that ego feels good, we, we're bigger than the world, and then we lose ourselves. Know where that come from.
Speaker 2:So a haircut can't tell you, it ain't nothing. The haircut can't feed you.
Speaker 1:But hey, but hold on. You know who boosts your ego? Hey, send me a picture, will you get the friend?
Speaker 2:you be hitting everything, but you don't even want to go home that day. But they, you know them girls, well, I'm telling you as soon as I get a haircut straight to the gym, yo, straight to the gym, straight to the gym.
Speaker 1:I'm not playing but I think what I'm saying is we have to learn to regulate that, and that is killing the ego. When we get to that point, to where it's more than sufficient, when it's like an abundant state, that's when you have to really kill the ego, because if not, you'll go through a place where you're literally losing yourself and you're not thinking about everybody around you because you're so focused on yourself.
Speaker 2:So what are some solutions to pulling yourself out of that deep? Oh, that's good.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, he a doctor. What is that? What that's good. Oh yeah, he a doctor.
Speaker 1:He can heal you what, first and foremost, I personally think you know what helps me regulate my ego is not believing all the compliments or believing what people tell you. Like, you can accept a compliment when somebody says something is good or say, hey, you look X, y and Z. Thank you, I ain't going to lie.
Speaker 2:I don't want to be accepting them Okay good. I can Y and Z, thank you, but I ain't gonna lie, I'm gonna be accepting Okay, good, that's good.
Speaker 1:Don't hold on to it. I think it's okay. It's okay to accept something, but don't hold on to it. You don't have to believe it For me. I accept it, but I don't hold on to it. Like I literally Like that compliment it. Just it rolls off me Cause I don't say that I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2:Because it's like when I get home, it's like in the mirror. My thing to me is like I want to be that guy to myself, so it's like I'd rather have that person, if somebody be like come, that's you, that's you 100%. I don't want to fully believe that you know reverse them. That's what I'm saying, so it's like I'd rather, I'd rather. My thing is spreading love, like. I just spread it, I just spread it, I spread it till I can't no more. But when I get home, oh, I'm that guy.
Speaker 1:You can't tell me no more yourself. That's on you. But I think when we're in society, we're around people, we need to humble ourselves, and that's one thing I like about you is that you're humble. You're like you know, bro, I'm gonna do my thing, but I'm always gonna kind of like big up somebody else when they try to big up me.
Speaker 2:I, I'm the same way, because it's like it ain't gonna like growing up, bro. It's like me being me. A lot of people try to like down, like throw rocks. It's like for what I don't? I don't do nothing.
Speaker 1:Like man what.
Speaker 2:Oh, my god Like. And then it amazes me to this day. And then it's like when I say something yeah, oh no, it wasn't that.
Speaker 3:Nah, bro, it wasn't that I'm like.
Speaker 2:Oh, you know, g, what was the point? Like, like, there's no way.
Speaker 1:So this podcast is, you know, and in this episode we're more focused on mental health and finding your purpose as a man, and I think that's a huge topic, so let's narrow it down. I had a couple of questions for you. You know, in terms of men's mental health, how do you, or have you ever dealt with the fear of failure as a man?
Speaker 2:That's a fear that I face every day. But at the same time, fear wasn't instilled in us so I'm not going to sit there and just let they get the best of me. I'll pray and keep it moving. Sometimes it do get me. I do have them days, but when I have them days I just get up and go to the gym. But as far as like, my fear isn't necessarily that my fear is not being happy.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's like I don't care if I make the money, I don't care if I'm working at Dollar General, I don't care if, like, everything can be taken away. If I'm not happy, that's my fear. Okay, I like that. When it comes to me facing that, I just gotta give it one day. If I ain't having the best day this day, we got tomorrow. If we ain't got tomorrow, I'm gonna try today, as long as I try. That's why I'm met with it okay, okay.
Speaker 1:next question when is the worst time to date a man? I ask this question to or, in my opinion, to as well At your age.
Speaker 2:When do you feel like the worst time to date a man? The worst time to date a man is when they feel like they got everything.
Speaker 2:Okay, unpack that, because it's not necessarily that you don't need somebody, but when you coming up, there's somebody that's right there, that's supporting you no matter what. That's when you need it the most. But when you're at the top and you got everything, you can come across somebody that does care the whole time. You're not going to care if you lose them or not, because you feel like you got everything. So I would say the worst time is when they got everything. The best time is when they don't got nothing.
Speaker 2:That's when you're going to get the realest version of them.
Speaker 3:So it's like you know some, I don't, I don't.
Speaker 2:I don't take a walk in the park.
Speaker 1:So you're speaking from the standpoint of when a woman should lock in with a man right.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, so I like, I like that answer. That was good. I didn't even think about it that way. In my opinion, the worst time to date a man is when he's grieving. You know, when you're walking in, he's like broken and you're trying to like figure you're as a woman and I think you know I'm not a woman, obviously, but I think when you're looking at a man, he's grieving, he's gonna make a lot of mistakes, he's gonna hurt you unintentionally because he's trying to figure things out in terms of fixing himself, because he's broken and he could be grieving from a relationship or a loss. Uh, that's why they say you shouldn't get in a relationship immediately after you get out of one.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, because you're still grieving the other relationship, but if you're dealing with somebody that understand that's not the true version of you.
Speaker 1:That's what that's right, but she's gonna get hurt though, bro.
Speaker 2:She's gonna get hurt, bro if she know, like he mean, that she may get hurt. Yes, you can get hurt, but sometimes that that love, if she really rocking with you as now way to hurt if she's locked in and she stays, oh it's hard. It's hard. It's rare to feel you find that it's but fool, but hold on that's like that old phone, honda Accord gonna crank up every time.
Speaker 1:We're gonna do an oil change next week I'm making some new tires man, 250 000 miles, don't even hesitate, crank up like look, I'm jumping in every single day, brother, you're gonna pay 2,500, oh 25. There's a steal. But here's the thing, though. I think, as we Sure, we would love for them to lock in In those moments, but we as a man have to grow enough To come back and nurture Like the hurt that we delivered, and we don't do a good job of that.
Speaker 2:But we can't take none of the stuff we put out and that I've seen people put out. They can't take it. They can't take it if it was dead to them.
Speaker 1:I speak for myself, bro, take it.
Speaker 3:No, they can't take it if you did no one of the things for myself, so that won't even play.
Speaker 1:No more like yeah I ain't trying to play those games, yeah, but the crazy part is is like they're now. Women are doing the things that we do, so men are actually getting hurt and also are seen as less than because they're they're being I can say they've been more than because they're being. I can say they're being more vulnerable, but they're being more susceptible to the hurt that we delivered, we dished out, in the past. So I think it's important, though, like to kind of circle back, and I think it's important for us to figure out if we do have somebody that champions us and they are standing in there in those moments and receiving that hurt because women carry a lot, bro, especially when we're dishing out that hurt. We just need to figure out, as men, how to circle back and nurture the hurt and acknowledge it too, because it's difficult to acknowledge something that you don't feel. So I think it's important to figure that piece out.
Speaker 2:Next.
Speaker 3:You pulled out your own question.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had cause. I know my boy was ready. He needed to get in his bag. Okay.
Speaker 3:So, since we're here, what types of pressures do you feel when you're dating, and do they positively or negatively affect you? That's a good question.
Speaker 2:Um, pot is is going to sound negative, but it's positive. My mama always told me it's always going to be somebody bigger, better, better. You just got to.
Speaker 2:Better looking. It positively affects me because it's like it keeps me humble but at the same time it's like it's show their character. They go for the next name and see that it's them. But the pressures, I'll say you feel them more at the beginning stages of dating, like would she like me? What if she don't like this, this, that, and the third, like the little cute shit. But as far as like Bigger pressure than that, I don't think.
Speaker 3:What's the puppy love? Yeah, you good, yeah, what you think, dr Gray.
Speaker 1:So the question is what?
Speaker 3:What types of pressures Do you feel while dating? And do they positively or negatively affect you. I should have said something.
Speaker 2:Go ahead, finish up. Man. Ain't a lot of worse pressure than when you cook for them the first time?
Speaker 1:Nah, oh you out here cooking, but I throw down those like Pressure. This is going to sound. I don't think this is going to sound cocky, but I don't think I have. Well, I don't know, I haven't dated in a minute.
Speaker 2:So in the past, when the last time you cooked for somebody. It's been a while bro, I cooked for somebody.
Speaker 3:What you going to find out, man, what Cooked something?
Speaker 2:Real quick. It ain't your meal. It ain't something that you you like cooking food. Who me you, yeah, I ain't going to lie bro.
Speaker 1:I cooked for somebody recently, bro Okay, but it was some simple shit, it was barbecue, so you just cook it like anybody can get CJ cooking.
Speaker 2:When it comes to my people, yeah, okay, I bring my partner a plate, my mama a plate, but when it comes to me actually bringing somebody like I just met, or they trying my food for the first time, okay, a little nervous.
Speaker 1:I, I don't know, bro, I don't feel like I have pressure when it comes to that and I I think, okay, this may be a pressure point, it could be negative. I think when you set the expectations in the beginning, like when you, when you're dating and you go into that initial phase, you're trying to be, do and be everything to that person and then down the road for me and this is in the past, this is the pressure I felt in the past, so I guess I do have one is wearing so many hats in a relationship. So now let me unpack that. Let me unpack that, bro. I've done that and I realized you cannot be everything for even one person. You can't be everything for even one person. You can't be everything for her.
Speaker 1:So at what point do it change? You need to, in the beginning, establish what it is. Now you could support her in different areas, but I mean, I would recommend her if you, you know her having like other support systems, friends and stuff like that, but and not relying on you for everything. And I think me that was a lot of pressure being able to like, be your coach, be your guy, be business partners, be that be this like. That's a lot, bro, and obviously I'm, I can do a lot of that, but if you think about it, when you're wearing all those hats, you have to approach that person in so many different ways and they don't realize it because they're still thinking like, oh, oh, this is my guy, but he has all these hats, so he should be able to approach me as my guy and no, bro we're business partners, so at what point do they get the readjustment like?
Speaker 2:is it after the day, is it after you, if you have them, or like speaking, speaking, I'm saying, I'm saying like after? After what stage of the relationship Do they? Get truly authentic Justin, me I'm the same all around, like most people think, after I get the box, like I'm a change. So at what point do they get the sad Justin, the goofy Justin?
Speaker 1:The serious Justin, when they get overall, justin, that's a lot. When is the?
Speaker 2:right time to get at to him.
Speaker 1:I think the goofy Justin is who is the authentic. I mean, I'm always authentic, but I do have different modes I have different modes.
Speaker 1:I have to switch on Initially. If I'm genuine with you initially and this is something I don't think people notice about me but if I'm, if I'm genuine with you initially and this is this is something I you know I don't think people notice about me but if I'm already creating friction and talking, talking that ish to you in the beginning, I like you, yeah, but if I'm just super nice, super nice see, I'm too nice though like I get that a lot like I'm too nice, like yeah but at the same time it's like if I got to be mean to you.
Speaker 1:Not so much mean, but just more created like banter and friction. Because I think you know, for me I want someone that is a little bit more. You don't want to push over. Yeah, because I know what type of energy I bring and I know what type of energy they're going to have, because I think a woman naturally is there with one of the individuals that well, she supports and holds a man up. So in order to hold me up, you're going to have to understand that there are different phases. But also I'm going to be yeah, not saying like I want you to stay in your feminine. I think for me, my energy brings that out, no matter what.
Speaker 2:But I also want someone that can kind of like go back and forth if we need to.
Speaker 1:You got to have that little pit bull in your pocket, yeah because when I'm not there, I know she can take care of business.
Speaker 2:I know she's going to handle herself, so at what point do you feel like you can fully trust her? Ooh it takes.
Speaker 1:So for me, I think, all right, so I'm going to unpack something. This is off topic, I think so. I think now I'm at a state where my discernment is kind of high and that could be a double-edged sword. I think that if you got a lot of discernment, you have a tradeoff of, you know not, you can see a lot in terms of people, you can understand a lot, and that's the issue is, you see too much and you don't want to give too much in the beginning because you know what this person's strength and weaknesses is. So I think for me, yeah, it'll have to be like, I'll have to see something in the beginning before we actually get to that point.
Speaker 1:If I don't see it, you're going to be like oh, justin's always serious, justin is all about business, and you know me, I'm goofy, I'm like bro, I'm saying but not a lot, not a lot of women. And here's the thing and I think this is the type of woman I I prefer to attract is a woman that can actually speak to that, that goofy, that kid and justin, instead of just seeing me and like, oh, he's like this. So let me be like no, be yourself. If you're yourself, I going to be flexible a little bit to that and we're going to have good banter, we're going to have a good conversation, we're going to laugh, joke, but if you're just like, oh, he's all serious, I'm going to be serious, we're just going to be serious the entire time that ain't going to last long.
Speaker 2:It ain't gonna say I give 100 but you're gonna get cj. Okay, if I gotta give you christian, we might well start talking you said, if I gotta give you the professional side like I'm like I ain't gonna say I just stopped dealing with somebody, but like I was dealing with somebody for like.
Speaker 2:Like I was dealing with somebody for like a year on and off, right, and we ended it like a month ago where I ended it, because it's like I'm not going to keep dealing with the BS. You don't tighten up, you ain't tighten up. But, like for me, if I got to show you I can just walk past you and act like I don't know you. Yeah, you my way.
Speaker 3:I shouldn't have to show you that you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:That's not I'm going to. I ain't that, ain't that's me, but it ain't me. You know what I'm saying? Right? So like no Once.
Speaker 1:I don't care, I don't care, okay, okay, so you basically clock out. I got one question before we go back into Renee, then we'll wrap it up soon. Why is the hookup culture thriving? Why is the hookup culture thriving today? Fucking?
Speaker 2:Why is the?
Speaker 1:hookup culture thriving.
Speaker 2:I ain't going to lie, Justin. I'm not going to lie. I can't. This is where I'm low on that list Because, like I stand on business but I'm a man at the end of the day, like I'm thugging with something right now yeah for sure, and I told her I wasn't going to do that because I want a girl.
Speaker 1:Okay, but you still fell into it.
Speaker 2:One thing led to another. I'm in now. I would say hookup culture is relevant right now, because that's all we see.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and social media is all about hookup culture.
Speaker 2:It's nothing left to the imagination as far as clothes, what we watch, what's on TV, what's being put out there. Yeah, as always, if you can sit up here and watch a girl talking about God on TikTok, what are most people going to do? Scroll, yep, swipe and the next video could be a guy interviewing a girl about what's the nastiest? Thing she did. She got on booty shorts with her cheeks out, or she got on the poster girl fit with the little pearls and nothing's covered up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's too much it is. And I ain't saying like some things should just be left to imagination. It's crazy because it's like growing up I used to think my mama would trip. I used to think my mama was just like telling me stuff. Man, some things need to be left up to the imagination 100%.
Speaker 1:Everybody don't need to see what she's doing. He man to that, bro.
Speaker 2:Then it's so much, it's so easy to access pornography and stuff like that and they destroy you real shit. So it's like a dude. Most men don't get affection coming up, so it's like when that female touching them, when they kissing them, they get a little bit that instantly turn into oh, she trying to fuck.
Speaker 1:Nah.
Speaker 2:So it's like hook up, it's easy to hook up, and then most females when they get an affection they think, oh, he's just trying to fuck.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like the amount of females that I've talked to that have been mentally, physically and abused in that aspect. It's crazy.
Speaker 3:It shouldn't be like that, Dang, so it's like hookup culture, but it's so to your point. They putting it out there. It's like they want you to want them.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm saying. That's the only way they feel when it comes to some women putting themselves out there like that. That's what they feel special at.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think hookup culture it's going to like. You know our past conversation with, uh, the dating crisis. I think they go hand in hand and to blame is social media. Yeah, I think social media produces the abundance mindset of man. There's so many different options out there and you're like cool, like I want to kind of play this field, play that field, play this field, man, but I want to stay in a relationship. But no, it's so much. It's that abundance mindset in terms of social media that kind of destroys the dating culture. You know what killed me, though. What's that?
Speaker 2:The first thing they're going to say man, I'm trying to be like my grandma. They've been together 67, 30 years. Ain't no way you can't sit up there and say you like grandma. And if you ain't willing to go through the hardships, they go through. If you don't chew your gum the right way, they ready to be on old.
Speaker 2:Tyler down there Like come on, bro, like y'all, they ain't ready to like actually sit down and be like look bro, I know you're not perfect. We both want this certain thing. Let's work towards that. Nah, if he end up being you or she ain't treating you right, then yeah, get on. But don't sit up there and put your eggs in this basket, this basket, this basket. You ain't gonna have no eggs. Look bro, I don't care what you say, but you ain't got that many eggs.
Speaker 2:But come on, bro, you ain't got that much money If you my age and you dating, unless you playing football or Are you doing something Not legal. You ain't getting that much bread and I'm in a different tax bracket Than most people. I know my age and I ain't got that much bread, so dating. I just went on a date Yesterday.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Honey, you spending how? Then you gotta put gas when you Then Then you feel me, she still be hungry, still gotta Gotta feed up, come on boy. Nah, you ain't got that much bread oh. Bad, ay, okay, I like that Cheap side my meal, fucking $15.
Speaker 3:What you think about the. Did he say hook up?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:What do you think?
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I would say I think it's thriving Because there's, you know, there's abundance In terms of social media Gives us that Abundance perception and, in terms of social media, gives us that abundance perception and so many options and so many things in our mind. So the opposite of abundance is scarcity, right, and I think that when you're thinking abundantly in terms of like options, you're, you're like okay, nothing else has value, nothing has a lot of value because I have so much of it. If you think about water, we have so much water, we're not. It's so abundant that you're not thinking about if it goes away. Oh, everything goes to, you know, right, so think about it. Um, if we have.
Speaker 1:But you have scarcity mindset. You have that mindset of scarcity. Then you're thinking of, okay, cool, like there's not a lot of men out there and you can date men to figure out where the value is, instead of just having your mindset like, okay, there's not a lot of value in men because there's so many of them. And I think what we need and what will fix this is to have more of a sufficient mindset, which is difficult with social media. Obviously, sufficient is that in that in between between the in between, um of abundance and scarcity. So you're thinking of a lot too excess or not, you know, too scarce to to figure out, to have to fight for it. You have that mindset of okay, cool, like if something's for me, it's for me and I have the balanced mindset of being able to assess it and assess the value of it because it's in front of me. And what social media does? It takes us away from the present moment. No one is present. Everybody's on their phone looking like oh man, she looks tough okay.
Speaker 2:So would you say this is. I got two, two kind of questions. Would you say that's on the? Is that part of our community, more so the hookup culture being trash like the black community? Or would you say that's the lack of ain't a lot, the lack of father figures and and motherly figures in the black community? I think it's because, I'm not gonna lie, I'm not on the white community, but you, you see more white people, people other races, getting married at young ages and actually being locked in at young age.
Speaker 2:And then you see, I at I, because it's frowned upon on them if.
Speaker 1:If you have a white woman that's in her 30s and she's not married, it's really frowned upon. But it's not taught in our household in the black. You know, as a black woman I'm not a black woman, but Aaron Akin speaks to this but it's not taught in a lot of households. As a black woman in her 30 know, it's like okay, it's fine, because her mom probably is 40, 50 plus, still single and mingling and got friends Right and got friends Like man. One thing I kind of respect my mom so much, bro. She didn't date from like my mom wasn't married until I got it Until I hit 18 and got out of the house. After she got married she kept me like all right, cool and I don't know if she did that for me or it was just her time. At the time I think my mama just cheered up.
Speaker 2:I think she, yeah, she like she didn't just like have people over, she would just be like they, her friend.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my mama ain't seen me.
Speaker 2:She didn't let me see like what it was, but I did catch her a couple times I felt bad.
Speaker 1:I did Because I was like, and all the kids said, mom, you ain't gonna never, you ain't gonna never have nobody. And I wasn't thinking about it at the time. But looking back, bro, that's trash. I was trash for a second.
Speaker 2:I ain't gonna lie me and my mama got cool as I got older, like me, and my mama used to butt heads Like bro I ain't gonna lie. I called my mama one time. Like you know what I'm saying yeah, she's like, she's like my friend coming over. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, I'm like, bro, we're grown. I'm like 20 plus, bro, like you're good what you had to say. Are you well?
Speaker 3:I think it. It goes back to the initial thing, because both of y'all grew up a little different than me, I grew up with both parents in the household they're still married they got married in 82, so it'll be 43 years, but my sister is married. My brother isn't. He's 42 and I'm in my 30s.
Speaker 2:I do got a question though you think you think your dad messed you up, like as far as like when it comes to dating because I know a lot of people that have their father in their life but the expectations that their dad put on them, it wasn't really realistic to date like now. Now, Like I mean, like their dad spoiled them and was like, oh for a man to come with you. He got to come like this. But they don't understand.
Speaker 2:Their dad is like 60 or 40 plus 60 yeah, and I'm 20, 21, 22, 23 trying to establish myself, so I ain't got the bread that somebody that they had the bread for years at okay, well, not necessarily say messed you up.
Speaker 3:I know what you're saying first of all, I can't date nobody in their 20s because I'm in my 30s. But no, I don't feel like my dad messed me up. I am spoiled, but I'm realistic Like I know that they're established.
Speaker 2:So you cool with the word no.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I've been told no before. I mean I be mad for like a minute.
Speaker 1:Not that long. Then I let it go.
Speaker 3:Spoil people, spoil girls, but I'm not spoiled like that because I'm not materialistic Like you. Talking about like, especially for people your age, they all about the bag Like I like time, I like to be around someone that's the most valuable thing, Like I don't care about, we can have a date at the house. I don't care about that. I don't care about no money. I can buy my own stuff, yeah that's what I'm saying, just spend time with me. That's all I like, that's so rare, but yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:So kind of to circle back on my parents like there's no pressure. Okay, like you, almost 35, and you're not like I don't get that, I don't hear that.
Speaker 1:And more pressure on yourself, though, than anything. No, absolutely not.
Speaker 3:We just had this conversation two weeks ago. Okay, I'll just make sure I'm good, I'm fine.
Speaker 1:Just make sure to check in, girl. You know, I got you, I'm happy over here. Okay, all right, you want to go to our last question?
Speaker 3:Yeah, because we got about like five minutes.
Speaker 1:All right, let's go Last question.
Speaker 3:Since we then got over here into the love section. To wrap it up what does healthy masculinity look like when you're in love? Have you ever been in love?
Speaker 2:And then, what does healthy masculinity look like? I'm a simp? Oh yeah, as a self.
Speaker 1:I'm a self. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, as a self, I just have to you know you got to lock in.
Speaker 3:I got to stand. I have to stand on business.
Speaker 2:you know I don't really be wanting to. It's all good man, healthy masculinity. Everything with me is going to be different from. It is like because I'm 24. I ain't going to lie. I ain't going to lie. I ain't had nobody that was older than me in probably like a year or two.
Speaker 3:You just said baby.
Speaker 2:So like, disregard her. You know what I'm saying, but no, I ain't going to lie. It's different, because it's like healthy masculinity, the person on the receiving end. They're not going to take it as that. That's what I'm saying. A lot of social media has affected a lot because it turns into oh, you're controlling or manipulation, no, it's not that. At the same time, like you know what I'm saying, leave something for that imagination. Say we finna, go out, right, yo, you ain't got to have your ass out bro. Like you get, that's stuff you do when you not you not with somebody. You know what I'm saying. And then it's like they don't, let's go change that. They think, oh, I can't be myself. Yeah, you can be yourself.
Speaker 2:But you don't know how much unwanted attention that's going to bring and that may turn into something else. That's me trying to prevent that, or like, at the same time, it's like me just overall just helping yeah, me trying to help. A lot of people don't want help. They're not used to that constructive criticism, they're not used to Accountability yeah, they're not used to that. And when they get that they shut down. Oh, he coming for me.
Speaker 1:Call now Trying to try.
Speaker 2:No, it's just certain things. Let certain things be certain things, certain things that don't need to be, certain things they don't need to be.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So I would say, only thing I can say as far as healthy masculinity is like me trying to tell you like what's what's okay to wear or not, what. Yeah, not necessarily that, because a lot of people that's a catch-22 like you can make that that can be an issue, but it can't be an issue. But other than that, that's all I got.
Speaker 1:I don't yeah, I don't need to show you I'm a man, I'm a man regardless, I think. I think for me, healthy masculinity is kind of like it's basically showing, it's knowing you have the power and not having to use that power, because that power is already seen in that aura of masculinity. Like you just said, you don't have to tell me I'm a man, I know I'm a man, right? I think that's healthy masculinity when your presence speaks for itself and that comes from a lot of you still being stoic but also being able to make good decisions. And I think a lot of times women look for that, that man that can make great decisions, but a lot of time, but most of the time women are just making decisions already predetermined before they get in that situation and that clashes with some of the masculine, the men's masculinity. But I think most of it is just Like I said is Knowing you have the power, the power to do or over something, and not having to use it.
Speaker 2:I mean as far I can say more so on the healthy masculinity Outside of like a relationship, like you can tell when somebody don't got it Like when it comes to Like an example would be in the gym A man can look at a man and be like, oh, nah, he's a front Like. It's been times where I'm in the gym I'm like yeah, nah, because it's like you got to overly show it all the time.
Speaker 1:For sure, Me and you have had that conversation while in the gym Like nah, buddy, need to sit and look in the mirror.
Speaker 2:Nah, buddy, need to sit and look in the mirror, and hey, so it's like I can speak more On the outside Looking at somebody With health.
Speaker 1:So that's important. So us men we recognize. That masculinity I talked about. You see it in other. You're like okay, yeah, that's respect. And the other guys You're like huh, nah, something ain't right Over there, bro, something wrong with him? We gotta wrap up real quick how much time we got.
Speaker 3:About two minutes.
Speaker 1:All right, cool, so Jizzle. What are your takeaways? So, just to wrap it up, what do you want our listeners to know about, either mental health or finding your purpose as a man, or just in terms of masculinity as a whole? What do you want our listeners to know?
Speaker 2:The takeaway would be as far as, when it comes to your mental health, actively work on it. Everybody has their thing that they work on, but some things they neglect to work on. Work on your mental health as far as like doing I ain't going to say exercises but like take time to sit by yourself. You ain't got to be around everybody Sometimes. That silence you need that. Sometimes you need to sit there and hold yourself accountable. So it's like work on your mental health, because it's a lot of suicides out there and it's not women so it's like work on that talk, it's okay um, I'll kind of lock that in.
Speaker 1:Exactly what he said is work on yourself, um figure out how to regulate your ego, um just strengthen yourself in terms of who you are, and I think that's you pretty much said majority of it. So that's it. So tell us, tell everybody, where they can find you at uh, it's your boy, big siege man.
Speaker 2:You can find me on all platforms at big siege with two eyes cool, cool, big siege guys.
Speaker 1:We are out. Uh like, share, subscribe. We're gonna do more pods, we're gonna drop more episodes, good content, and we're out yes, sir, y'all be easy.
