The Good, The Bad & The Gray
Welcome to The Good The Bad and The Gray Podcast, a compass in life's labyrinth, shining a light on relationships, wellness, and personal growth. Join me as I share insights and interview diverse guests. Together, we'll discuss highs, lows, and the in-between, offering perspectives on health, career, and more. Tune in for candid conversations that peel back life's layers, revealing the good, the bad, and the gray with hues from light to dark.
The Good, The Bad & The Gray
Ch 2: Ep 4| The Soft Life Scam? ft A Renee
Chaos and calm – two sides of the same coin that shape our human experience. In this deeply reflective episode, we explore how finding balance during life's unexpected transitions can lead to profound personal growth.
Renee opens up about leaving her job of ten years, a decision that initially seemed daunting but ultimately created space for her musical passion to flourish. "If you would've told me that when I am now is where I would be on January 1st, I would be like you lying," she confesses, illustrating how radically life can transform when we embrace change rather than resist it.
We tackle the popular notion of a "soft life" – that idyllic, stress-free existence many influencers portray on social media. Both Renee and Dr. Gray agree that while completely escaping life's challenges might be impossible, developing a "soft mindset" offers a realistic alternative. This approach allows us to navigate difficulties with grace without becoming hardened by them.
The conversation takes a fascinating turn when we discuss creating peace during chaotic times. "You gotta just sit down," Renee advises, highlighting the power of non-engagement when circumstances feel overwhelming. Dr. Gray adds his perspective on understanding life's natural rhythms: "Things are always flowing and ebbing... you have to know when to fully lay into the flow and when to hold, and take a step back and just do nothing."
We even venture into quantum physics territory while exploring the concept of soulmates, suggesting that perhaps these profound connections might be understood through the scientific lens of entanglement – where two consciousness become so aligned they operate on the same wavelength.
Whether you're navigating a major life transition, seeking more peace amidst daily chaos, or curious about deeper human connections, this episode offers thoughtful perspectives that might just change how you approach your journey. Subscribe to hear more conversations that blend practical wisdom with philosophical depth as we continue exploring the good, the bad, and everything in between.
Welcome to the good, the bad and the great podcast, where we shine a light on wellness, personal growth and relationships. Together, we'll discuss highs and lows and the in-betweens, offering different perspectives on health and wellness. Tune in as we peel back the layers of life, revealing the good, the bad and the great. Welcome back to the Good, the Bad and the Great podcast. I am your host, dr Justin Burke, and I have our special guest, or recurring guest recurring, guest recurring or reoccurring.
Speaker 2:Please don't make this recurring guest.
Speaker 1:We have our recurring guest, hey Renee.
Speaker 2:What's up y'all?
Speaker 1:Do you want to give him your real name?
Speaker 2:I do not, it is a Renee.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, okay, all right. So what's been up? Catches up. I know that's the first podcast. We talked about some good stuff. Uh, a lot of healing in that podcast you talked about you know where you were and what your goals were going towards. Your on this new journey you're on. So what's been up? Talk to us.
Speaker 2:So I think that was like a month ago, maybe, man, really At least three and a half, it's been like four weeks.
Speaker 1:Time is flying yo.
Speaker 2:Time flies when you're having fun. Amen, yeah, so I've been healing and I've been. You know, take a breath, living life. I know I'm good, I'm good. So what I didn't say in that podcast was that a lot of things that happened with that, my situation, my past situation. I also no longer work at the place that I worked at for the last 10 years.
Speaker 1:Really. Yeah, I didn't know that.
Speaker 2:I know You're not just going to be walking around announcing it.
Speaker 1:You know what we can talk about that, but this is good news, all right.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I haven't missed a beat. Okay, my light's still on at home, so I'm good, so you just went through a major life change. Yeah, still on at home, so you went through a major life change. Yeah, like it, because so that was my full time and I also have a part-time, but my part-time ultimate hustler. I made more in my part-time than I did my full time. It's weird. Anyway, I work at the college, so yeah my full time.
Speaker 2:I'm no longer there. It's been um almost five weeks since I've been gone from there. Oh wow, march 28th, so that's like a month. So, but like, other opportunities have come up for me and, like I said, my light's still on at home. So I'm fine, amen, I'm good. It was an adjustment at first because my life revolved around that job, because I had to be at work at 4 am every morning, so my gym schedule, like going to the gym, I had to go to work to the gym at 2 am.
Speaker 1:That's crazy. Look people already look at me crazy.
Speaker 2:when I say 4 am or 4 anything, 2 am, I'm saying that's crazy, and I had to get up at like 1 15 because I wake up and I don't get up. So what time do you go to sleep?
Speaker 1:oh, I used to be in the bed at five like people that don't know, that are close to me in my life my sister.
Speaker 2:I still hadn't told my sister and my brother-in-law, like they'd be like, what time you going to sleep. Five o'clock, four o'clock joking?
Speaker 2:yeah, no, but that's the time I used to go to bed. I used to literally be in the bed at 4.30 or 5 o'clock every day to get up at 1 something, to get to the gym at 2, work out for an hour, go home, take a shower, go to work, so like and that was not my end goal, because I have two degrees, so where I worked at you don't need a degree to work there, so I was still in my field, just in a part-time situation. So it was a blessing in disguise, like I have a really great village around me, so they've been very encouraging. And I talked to one of my friends yesterday. He was like you got to look at the situation like glass half full, empty, like how are you going to look at it? And I'm like he was like if you look at it half full, you being out of that job, it just pushed you to Be more in your field, which is what I've been Wanting to do anyway.
Speaker 2:The job I had Was a crutch for me and I don't want to say that I got complacent, but I did Because I should not have.
Speaker 2:Been there for 10 years. The money kept you In complacency, and I ain't even gonna say the money Like it's, the benefits, like I had my insurance and all that other stuff.
Speaker 1:Oh, I see, I see I've been there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I mean it is this whole Like 2025. If you would've told me that when I am now Is where I would be On January 1st, I would be like you lying man, cause January 1st I was laying in the bed Trying to go to sleep. Cause I had to go to work At 4am. But the because I had to go to work at 4 am, but the fireworks and the gunshots and everything else y'all do on the floor on the first, you didn't celebrate. I had to be at work at 4 am that's crazy work.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, dang, yeah but I'm like I I'm appreciating everything that I'm going through right now because it's like what I've wanted to do for so long, so like literally just be in my field, which is music. I have the opportunity this summer, so I'm let's go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I'm literally gonna be in music all summer, that's good yeah, passion, though right yeah like this.
Speaker 2:This is my passion, I love music. So, yeah, that's what I've been going through and I'm, you know, I did say that I don't like men, but I am, you know. I give certain people an opportunity, but on that level, like you know, I'll engage in conversation. I don't hate y'all men. I don't hate y'all.
Speaker 1:Because you have a new standard of men.
Speaker 2:Yes, so everybody doesn't get a response from me as they, as this is how you should be. Yes, oh when I say that the lesson was learned, the lesson was learned, so I I remember. But yeah, everything is good, though is that that's a big one though, like not working where I used to work it a lot of people don't know you know, uh, being that we won't make this a relationship episode, obviously, because we're trying to, you know, change the topics.
Speaker 1:um, being that you said that when you know women, you know compliment or praise other women when they're not dating, when they set standards for themselves and they're disciplined and not talking to guys, right, oh, you know, hats off you, queen, go, you go, queen, whatever right. But when a guy is doing it, he's questioned like is this guy's gay? Is he like, does he like women? I'm serious, it's, it's mind-blowing because, like, it's like a man, you want a stoic and a disciplined man, but you don't, because you need to know that he has, or he he has, those you know uh, cravings or his thirst for whatever. Um, and if you don't see that you tend when, when people tend to question, like, huh, he doesn't budge, he's super disciplined, I wonder why? Is it because X.
Speaker 2:Y Z, Because he yeah.
Speaker 1:I've.
Speaker 2:I've heard that that's not always the case. Some men are just gentlemen like they don't.
Speaker 2:You don't find that many men, so people question the fact that, okay, if he's not especially nowadays a lot of people are like you know and men, like all men, aren't just like hounding over women like some men yeah, like some men have manners I don't know. Know it's rare to find. So I get what you're saying. Like, a lot of men aren't like that, so when you come across those type of men then it's like what I know, I'm fine. He ain't got nothing to say to me. Dang, he ain't trying to holler Like, so I get it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it was. I'm saying this because this is experience Like I'm saying this because this is experience Like I've had people like huh, like you haven't tried to holler at me, are you and hear me out? They don't know you.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:They don't know. I'm like, bro, look, first and foremost, if anyone doesn't know me, I'm like currently I'm in a peaceful calm, you know, very disciplined place, but it took me a while to get here, so I don't have to go back to the guy that you think you want or they think they want, because most people want to see a response.
Speaker 1:They want to see oh, let me see how he acts when he's angry, all this type of stuff. But I can very well keep my composure under a lot of different circumstances. But I've realized, like special women they're like they side eye you when they say, huh, he hasn't. I wonder, but I think what it is is a lot of them most of the time I could be wrong, correct me if I'm wrong is they don't want to say, oh, he's not attracted to me, versus over saying that, oh, he could be possibly gay oh, and sometimes women just want attention, because I won't lie, I love attention.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's the currency for all like but I don't need, you don't want it from every man like you, just don't. You don't want to open that but what if you don't get?
Speaker 1:what if you you want it from a person that doesn't give it to you? Like what happens then? Then you begin to shoot your shot okay if it's that deep for you now, that's shoot your shot right if a lot of women are not bold, which is what we're lacking today. Women are not bold because they're a lot more old tradition. They have the traditional needs and wants, but not the traditional mindset what's the saying?
Speaker 2:a closed mouth does not get fed amen if you don't want to be single for the for the rest of your life and it's somebody that you want to show you some attention, they might be shy yeah you never know, so you just gotta shoot your shot. I've shot my shot before okay, did like.
Speaker 1:Were you steph curry? Were you like?
Speaker 2:we, we ended up being together. We're not together now, all right look, life happens.
Speaker 1:We cool, though, life happens, all right, oh, so you want to continue updating us, or is that?
Speaker 2:I mean, that's it. I'm. I'm finna be real busy with music, so life is great though I'm. I'm very like I said, even if you would have told me that this is what my 2025 would look like, I would be like you lying Because that place, like I said, there's a lot of people that don't know that I don't work there anymore, oh man, and you would think that I would still be there, but I'm not, and I was upset about the situation or anything. I literally felt peace and, like I said, I shouldn't have been there that long, but you know, okay.
Speaker 2:What you got going on in life. Dr Gray, since we're talking about me, don't do that. You are a doctor, stop.
Speaker 1:Funny that you say that you wouldn't believe this year would be what it panned out or is panning out to be, because we're still in it. If you would have told me this in 2023, the end of 2023, where I'm at now like career-wise accomplishments, all these different type of things, I would have been like you, lying 100 like. I literally feel like every single thing I worked on in the past that I attempted has literally flourished and came to fruition this particular year, like everything. It's like 2023 was a friction year and 2025 is a frictionless year. Everything is just flowing and things are just like happening. I'm like holy smokes, like I literally have to like. Literally I've pitched myself a couple of times, believe it or not. I'm literally like bro. Like is this real've pitched myself a couple of times, believe it or not. I'm literally like bro, like is this real? Because it's a lot of good things.
Speaker 1:And I think last year was a big lesson, because for some reason last year, I felt like I kept being led by God to say stay humble, stay humble. I'm like, stay humble. Like I'm not even like, but now this year's happened. I'm like, oh, I'm not even like, but now this year's happening. I'm like, oh, I see why last year was like stay humble year, like focus on being humble. I kept getting that, that message, that that in my mind, that repeated thought like humble, even from like when I was reading, like the bible and stuff like that. So I was like, man, why, why am I feeling this way and why I keep hearing this?
Speaker 1:So 2025 comes and I'm like, oh, oh, like this is why I need to stay humble, um, but I'm I'm like 100% grateful, even from like the people that in the past I've experienced in 2024, 2023, even before that, even the great people that are no longer in my life. I'm gonna call them great because a lot of people had you know they, they helped out in a lot of different ways. Even though we're just not in that place, we're just still in the same place. We're in a place for you know each other, to be in each other's lives. I think a lot of people played a vital role and I've met some great people as well.
Speaker 1:So you met me yeah, man, you meant me. Yeah, man, like on that note, like it's been like man, I can't. It's so many great things I can't explain, I don't even have the words to explain them. But on that note me meeting you like I've known you for a long time.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And it's so crazy. It's like the people that I've knew for a while Like Brief periods. This particular year they have like Literally supplanted themselves and like, and I know, like the relationship. I know what it is, I know what it's I can't even explain it, but I the thing about it is like everything I've experienced this particular year has, I felt, has been like supernatural Alignment.
Speaker 1:People like energy yes, energy has been big this year because I can sense when someone has like bad energy and I'm like mine is good, okay, cool, I got to, you know, walk away. But just to wrap it up, man, this year has been so far has been great. I'm also in a place where I'm ready for the test. I feel like their test is gonna come obstacles. I'm okay with it because I've seen, I've been there, I've been to that dark side, I've been through the struggle, I've been, you know, upset, angry, I've been like depressed, I've been all these different things and this particular year has shown me like, okay, cool, you endured some, so here's your rewards for it.
Speaker 1:So I think, uh, that's a big thing for this year. But, yeah, I'm in a good place, uh, traveling a lot, which I'm excited about. Uh, experiencing, experiencing a new city. Uh, experiencing, you know, new places, meeting new people. Uh, it's super exciting because you know, I spoke this particular place up two years ago on, not even like serious, but I said, yeah, I'm in this place and I end up being in this place. So cool enough about me, because I don't like to talk about me.
Speaker 2:But oh, whatever, but you're so interesting? I'm not interesting now what did I say the other day, though? Because you said like people from your past, it's kind of like planted themselves this year what I say the other day when one podcast door closes another podcast door opens.
Speaker 1:And when you say that, literally when one door has closed recently, another door immediately opens, like it's been blowing my mind, like I'm like whoa like, whoa like. But I can tell you one thing I'm doing now that I'm seeing these doors open, I'm not hesitating to walk through, I'm running through them like they're opening, I'm full speed ahead because I know I have faith that the right things are presenting themselves and I have discernment now. So that's something I'm using as well in terms of people figuring out who they are, what their intentions are. And it's so easy to see it now that I have had a year to kind of sit back and observe, love and serve. So, yeah, it's been a good thing, been a good thing. So what questions you got today? Because I know we're going to talk about a few good things, um, from the, just from previous pods or even just from topics throughout your day.
Speaker 2:Well, you mentioned something. Since we're talking about life, I don't think that this, this will, I think I know like how it will relate for us, because life like a soft life versus a real life yeah. Like a soft life is really not realistic for me. I would love to live a soft life. Maybe there are certain aspects of my life that I can live in in a soft way, but if we're thinking about my life overall, it's not gonna be soft so you know what I need you to do.
Speaker 1:We have to define what is a soft life to you.
Speaker 2:A soft life is like you live, really minimalistic and it's very easy. In my opinion, that's just what I'm saying, but in my opinion, I feel like someone that lives a soft life has someone that takes care of them, and it may not be the case. It could be like somebody that makes content, whatever type, because that's not hard work yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't know, so what I'm looking in so what I'm hearing is a life that focus on stress-free relaxation relaxation yeah, you being like well-balanced um care. I say stress-free, say carefree almost to the point to where you, a girl, would get up and put on no makeup or not put on makeup.
Speaker 1:I don't wear makeup anyway, so so it is like, so a girl would get up, not put on makeup. I mean literally waking up every day and it's like you don't wear makeup anyway. So so it is like so a girl would get up, not put on makeup.
Speaker 2:I mean literally Waking up every day and it's like you don't really have have to do anything, like you can.
Speaker 1:So the question, though, is like Can you really escape Like the real life Cause I mean is that Real life is Is every day you got bills to pay.
Speaker 2:You got. I don't have no kids, but some people have mouths to feed. I just feel like, for me, soft life is not realistic. I'm really going to be, my field is music and people may think that that's easy, but I literally went through six years of school to be where I am. If I didn't get my master's degree, I would not be in this position that I'm in now. Master's degree Hush, dr Gray, anyway. So I feel like people think that music is just so easy which there are moments and times where it can be easy, but, like, what I'm working on for this summer is huge 300 plus pages of music that I have to learn. So though I can read the music, I I still have to learn it. Like I still have to put work into it. Like that's not, that's not a, that's not a soft life I see that's not life.
Speaker 2:I got to put work in to be able to produce a great product for the show that I'm working on. Like I feel like I don't know.
Speaker 1:So I kind of like I think I see where you're going and I'm in agreeance with that. So my opinion is that you can have a soft mindset, not a soft life, because I think, like physically, in terms of, like you know, surviving I mean, you got to eat all these different type of things, you have to endure something to receive something, right. So I think you can approach things with a soft mindset like, ok, I'm not going to allow this to control my situation.
Speaker 1:Uh, okay, I'm going to focus on my well-being instead of focus on this person yeah like you can have those decisions that you make that are more soft mindset decisions versus you know, um, you saying that my life, my entire life, is soft based off of my actions and your, like you got, like you said you got to work, yeah, you got a, you got family and all these other type of things. You got possibility of being sick, possibility like all these different type of things. Like what, if you have a soft life and you get sick, is that like? Is your life still soft? Like what are we saying here, bro? No, so that mean I think it's a soft mindset which is okay, okay to have, which may decrease your stress and your experience in the world, because you're not so attached to so many different things and you're not so reactive to so many things. So I think soft mindset is a little bit more attain, you know, attainable, than a soft life, or maybe it's just, you know, a play on words.
Speaker 2:Honestly, that's why you a doctor, because that makes sense, to have come to approach things with a soft mindset and then it doesn't. You don't allow your situation or whatever you're dealing with to cause you stress. Or have you caused you to have anxiety? Yeah, cause I'd be like dang y'all giving me anxiety.
Speaker 1:I say that all the time, yeah because, man, because at the end of the day, like we're gonna be born and we're gonna die, so we're already gonna be healthy and we'll get sick at some point, so there's no way you can like have a soft life, like your life is just, you know, all relaxed. No, bro.
Speaker 2:Maybe some days, but not every day, hmm.
Speaker 1:So how do you? What do you think? Um, so, who do you think is leading this soft life trend? I'm going to call it a trend.
Speaker 2:Influencers.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay. So they're just showing people like, oh, this is my, my day in the life.
Speaker 2:Like it, my oh okay. So they're just showing people like oh, this is my day in the life. Like it my TikTok algorithm is insane, but you got girls that had to be a soft life baddie, like they are.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's a thing, so you don't have to lie to me because I'm not on TikTok.
Speaker 2:I scroll past that mess. I don't. So, but I think it's the girls that. And when I say like Influencers, I'm not even just talking about like the ones that like Blog or vlog or anything like that, like the ones that you know Got, like the OF.
Speaker 1:You know, oh Like, yeah, they can have soft. Well, they have. They can have soft like well, they have.
Speaker 2:I don't know what they can have, but they're making their money some way. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Like that's the type of girls that I see, the ones that, like they, literally don't really be having clothes on and stuff that's crazy, and they broadcast their lives on the internet every day see, this is why I don't really get into like I, I can't scroll on the internet like, if I get in, post, get, get on, I'm getting out. It's like for real. But I, what I did is so at the top of the year last year is when I actually started getting back on social media. You probably saw like what this is justin yeah, definitely not my thing, but what it is.
Speaker 1:That long hiatus of me not being on it kept me from being addicted to it. So I don't have to go scroll. Unfortunately I don't have to, and this is not. It may hurt, like, sound crazy, but I don't really care what someone else is posting, unless it's someone that's family. But in order for me to see it, they're gonna have to say hey, bro, you know, check my post out, or something like that. Because I'm gonna be honest, this is this is my routine. If I go in, I'm gonna post something and the first post I see I like and I get out, I don't even go go past a second horrible yeah, but because I don't want to be consumed by it.
Speaker 1:I understand, and I do understand like for a man, so much eye candy out there, so much there's nothing wrong with looking yeah, but you can get like if the algorithm said, hey, he's looking at this for more than five seconds I'm gonna send him more yeah and then I'm gonna fall down that rabbit hole of like god, you're not.
Speaker 1:You gotta get off your phone, gonna die eventually man, look, you're gonna put it back on the charge. Oh man, I saw this girl, let me check in on this girl. I saw like no, I ain't no, I'd rather be in the present moment with someone, especially if it comes to like dating, like I'd rather be in the present. I don't want to be on your social media.
Speaker 2:I thought you was healed. You supposed to be able to control it.
Speaker 1:Oh, I can't. That's why I don't do it.
Speaker 2:Nah, you can scroll, you just.
Speaker 1:This is something most people don't know about. Who is this? Jay Stone? Yeah, so this is Dr Gray. This is Jay Stone. Listen, dr Gray does not have sweets in his house because he the discipline. I have discipline when I don't have things there.
Speaker 1:So if look, I'm like here or there, like if I have it, it's gone. I'm going here or there, like if I have it, it's gone, I'm going to indulge. So I try to like keep things away that I don't think they're good for me, because Jay Stone doesn't have self-control with anything, trust me. That's why I keep See, look, I'm in a place. Now where I am, I'm in control of my demons. I think everybody has demons. Everybody has a dark side. For sure, dr Gray has a dark side and I call him J Stone and I think I cannot allow him to roam freely, because if he roams freely, all that work you put in, all that work I put in, but people will enjoy J Stone because he's disrespectful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because women don't like to be respected these days. Don't like to be respected. Don't like to be respected these days, apparently.
Speaker 1:He's a guy that locks in and like, couldn't care less about, like your feelings, like we, you gonna get hurt. See, you know what I'm saying? I don't wanna meet him. That's what I'm saying. But people, and recently, Somebody does.
Speaker 1:Recently Somebody does, recently, I think. And recently somebody does recently, somebody recently, I think. I've been tested by a couple different things and I think it's because people are trying to see like where is his? You know, where is his firm grip? You know like when is he gonna like bow up? I'm like bro, like relax. If I'm this way, it's for a reason. Yeah, because if I get that weight, just like I was talking the other day, I was like you know, I could speak life, but I also hurt some feelings. I can, I can man, I can say some stuff to hurt people, but I choose not to. Yeah, so because, so let me choose sometimes you have to somebody, try you oh, they try.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's different, sure. Um, I've been in a lot of. I've been in a different in different situations in the past year, where someone's like on 10 and I'm like cruising on five and they come back down to five because they see they're acting like outrageous and they right, and it's it's. It's crazy because I realized, like, as long as you can stay on five, as long as you stay on five, you should stay there. Yeah, if they bring you up, then you, you gotta do what you gotta do but I just said that.
Speaker 2:But a lot of times, like in my old job especially, I will encounter people and like when I was younger working there because I spent 10 years of my life there, so I spent my whole 20s there I would encounter people and like literally mesh their energy where, like if they was on 20, I was on 20 with them, like we was going back and forth. But like the last I could confidently say, like the last five years, I literally let them be on 20 and I be on one and I'll just be like okay, are you done?
Speaker 2:okay, and then I like, because've grown up so I realized that, even though it's more fun to match, your energy and match your petty like I just keep it mellow and let you look crazy, let your blood pressure get up my mind be constant, and then I'm going to say what I have to say, like so I say that, but I don't know. I mean it also depends on'm gonna say what I have to say like so I say that, but I don't know. I mean it also depends On the circumstance, but I don't know those people. Yeah, so why am I gonna get myself Riled up over whatever?
Speaker 1:You shouldn't, yeah, yeah, I think. I think a lot of people Just Are have. They have so many different things that they're not happy with in their lives.
Speaker 2:They just want other people to be the exact same way. Yeah, want people to be miserable.
Speaker 1:No, and then they see you just all you know cool, calm and collected. They're like huh, why is she so cool, calm and collected? Let me say something and see if I can get them all riled up.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it's so easy. It's so easy to let, like, whatever situation that you're going through alter how you act or how you, because I could be a different person right now. But I'm telling you like I feel. So I feel like a huge weight lifted off of me once I left that place and I don't mean to take it back to there, but I'm just saying like I could have used that situation and did some crazy stuff.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying but I didn't, I'm so, I'm so at peace with that there you go so I feel like you sometimes you just can't you gotta fight that so, jay stone, dr gray jay, we gotta choose which one you wanna talk to. Uh, uh, uh, dr.
Speaker 2:Gray, thank you you're always present so how, how do you, how do you? How do you balance, like, how do you balance your life? How do you treat yourself?
Speaker 1:mmm, uh, how do I treat myself? I find balance by uh, making time for myself, um, also being kind to people as much as I can, keeping my energy and maintaining a good energy, and just making time for myself helps me keep a balance. I'm gonna say soft life, but I don't think I have a soft life you definitely don't have a soft life.
Speaker 1:I'm used to like working like I'm gonna work. I like to work yeah, you know I put in work but I practice intimacy and love with myself, not the physical, but more of like feeling joy.
Speaker 2:Uh, at times I practice joy every single day you really do and that's what I was going to say. Like you say, you, you, you try to treat people a certain way and you get what you give, amen. So I'm telling you, like I said it on the first podcast, well, the first, not the first, the first one of the second season chapter. Sorry, you don't like seasons this the first episode from the second chapter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you literally be in the gym, so hype yeah even if I'm sleepy like and I have to wake up and do some cardio, you'd be like what's wrong with?
Speaker 1:you? What's wrong with you?
Speaker 2:I just gotta wake up yo, I just gotta wake up, but like you, be so lit and then like eventually it falls on me and I'm like okay, but no, like your, your spirit is very infectious, so I, yeah, I think, especially in the morning times.
Speaker 1:But I think it's because, like that, when I literally said that's my me time, that's me literally honing in on my joy, my energy and Britain, for some reason it projects out outward. People feel it, they see it. I have people in the gym, or even not even the gym. They speak, they look at me, they're like huh and they speak. You know how many times I've had so many people said they, you look familiar. And I think what it is is my energy looks familiar, like they feel something different and I, because I've really been thinking about I, said why do people? And then walk in the airport, man, first, let me say this before I get on top in the airport.
Speaker 1:Yo, I walk in the airport and I see people staring at different things like that and I think obviously could be a few different reasons. But you know, I think it's because my energy, my energy is is, I think I'm, I'm in that place where I have a lot of joy and I can give it. And, uh, I think people are, are really familiar with it, but they don't know what it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Um, somebody and I think I said this on one part, somebody said it just feels like family, uh, but anyways, I think, uh, on that note that, bro, do you know how many people are in the airport? Every single day it blows my mind, like I've been in the airport and I've been like where are all these people going? Every week I'm in the airport. Where are all these people going, bro? Yeah and I'm like what is?
Speaker 2:going on, you're traveling, you like. I know it's gonna be dead in the airport.
Speaker 1:Where are all these people going, bro? Yeah, and I'm like what is going on? You traveling?
Speaker 2:You like. I know it's going to be dead at the airport today, Bro.
Speaker 1:Nope, where are these people going?
Speaker 2:Somewhere, just like you.
Speaker 1:So you want to answer that question, or?
Speaker 2:Wait, how do I treat myself? Yeah, I can't lie. I used to treat myself by buying stuff. That's why I have a lot of shoes. And stuff now and a lot of clothes I don't anymore. How do I treat myself? Relax, okay, chill, like I don't do the most, I don't do too much. I'm. I'm so different now Than what I used to be and I'm I guess it's just me growing up and I just Focus a lot Now on saving my money so I can get me a house like Chrissy Big money.
Speaker 2:Because Chrissy got a house.
Speaker 2:I want me a house too, okay, but yeah, no, not big money yet Coming soon. Yeah, I don't. I'm not really into the tangible things, either Not really. I'm not really into the tangible things, either Not really. And I think a lot of people Rely on people to Get them things Too, and that's not a part of the question. But it just made me think about that soft life thing again, because I feel like a lot of people feel like them having a soft life. Is somebody like literally Taking care of them, buying them whatever they want? Yeah, I don't want that Because I can get it myself.
Speaker 1:Everybody can have a soft life if that's their definition Like having people buy you everything Because not everybody is going to be attached to that person. That is a huge provider.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's why you got those sites where you talk to a stranger and get paid.
Speaker 1:Talk to a stranger, you know what I thought about.
Speaker 2:you know if I do need a side hustle I could you know anyways, but uh, don't do that, dr gray don't do that because they're gonna hear your name be like oh, he's loaded let's get it how do you create peace when life is chaotic? We're still talking about life. So how do you create peace when life is chaotic?
Speaker 1:We're still talking about life. So how do you create peace when life is chaotic? I guess, ooh, go ahead, say that again.
Speaker 2:Well, I posed the question, so you can answer that.
Speaker 1:What was the question?
Speaker 2:How do you create peace when life is chaotic?
Speaker 1:How do you create peace when life is chaotic? Ooh, the calm and the chaos.
Speaker 2:You got to sit your behind down. No.
Speaker 1:You got to sit your behind down. No, I think you need to practice both in each let me say season, each aspect. So, when there's chaos, you need to practice peace. When there's peace, you need to practice chaos. But to answer your question, how do I practice peace?
Speaker 2:How do you create peace when life is chaotic? How do I create peace when?
Speaker 1:life is chaotic. How do I create peace when life is chaotic? I, personally, I'll I'll take a step back from all the chaos, so I'll try to sidestep some stuff and just create like, um, you know, um, oh, this is interesting because this may be related to you I create like a playlist. Every single time things get chaotic, I create a new music playlist and a lot of the same songs will be on there. So don't judge me so. Three, three of my main songs, um, that I always go back to when it's chaotic and I need to hone in on the piece is Dangerously In Love by Beyonce. That song, right there, she did that. That's not the album, the song. And Lately, by Tyrese, one of my favorites and I forgot the other songs. Oh, john Legend, not John Legend.
Speaker 1:James Bay, one of my top artists Running I don't know him yeah, you're not gonna know, james, take a listen one day, uh, maybe, of his. So he has an album, ironically called the chaos after the calm, the calm after chaos, or something like that, one of my favorite albums. He's literally like he's, you know, in that album he goes through a couple songs talking about letting go incomplete, running like finding love, like it's a lot of different places he goes, but it's truly chaos and calm and I think, um, that's how I do it. I kind of, I find like I like music, I think music soothes me, um, it helps me channel that joy and love that I want to feel in certain moments and I can always go back to it.
Speaker 2:So I think, for me, I would say through music well, when I said the question was, how do you create peace when life is chaotic, I say you gotta just sit down. You're talking some. No, no, literally you gotta stop moving, because if you continue moving you're gonna consume yourself in the chaos. Amen, okay, so you, peace be still like. You literally just gotta. That's what I've had to do. That is why I'm so. People don't realize that that's. This is what I'm.
Speaker 2:I've dealt with is the last month because I'm so chill about the situation and it was a chaotic situation, but I've approached it. I've I've done such a different approach with it. Like I'm so chill, I literally like took three days where I just said I worked out, I went home and I just said I didn't, I wasn't upset, I wasn't mad or anything like that. I literally was just chill and I feel like that sometimes that's what you have to do. And and then you, you also can go to your outlets of music. I love music too, of course. I love music, but I love all types of music. So, whereas those your big three, like i'ma have, like yeah, you probably can't have a classical music.
Speaker 2:No, like my, my, my music on my phone is very, very diverse, so I love music too. But I just feel like you just got to sit down for a second. Don't let the chaos around you consume you.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Let it kind of pass you by a little bit.
Speaker 1:So we're talking about flowing huh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're talking about flowing Like that boulder in the river. Like that boulder in the river.
Speaker 1:Like that boulder in the river. Like yeah that boulder's there Just flow right yeah 100%.
Speaker 2:No like let it pass you by Once that it calms down some. Then move, pick your move. Determine what you're going to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, one of my main focuses this year is Really truly honing in on the ebbs and flow of things, of people, circumstances and everything.
Speaker 1:And what I mean by that is and I think I said this briefly in the first part like things are always flowing and ebbing, like sometimes things are flowing in your direction, sometimes they're not not yeah but what I realized even with business, like even when your efforts in business, you have to know when to fully lay into the flow and when the whole, and take a step back and just do nothing, I literally it took me a while to really understand it, and when I understood that I'm never exhausted because I know when to go, what was it? You gotta know when.
Speaker 1:Oh, but no I know when to like literally go and I know when like just to not do anything. But you'll have people in those um moments where you're not doing anything, hey, when you're gonna do this, hey, you should do this. Don't listen to them. You really need to just feel, and I think that's a part of understanding god's timing and not your timing. Yeah, because you can see. You can see when people are like really hitting the wall when it comes to you, or when things are just not working, it's okay not to force it, to sit in it, okay, cool. And then that moment is going to appear when you just got to run and you run and do not stop. You can see me do that in the summer, by the way. Um, but I'm saying like literally, it's ebbs and flow and I've been like literally immersed in that recently, even with people, some people. Sometimes they have their days or their moments, sometimes they don't, but I'm always in that moment Okay, cool, I'm like Bruce Lee water, be like water, be like water.
Speaker 1:Be like water. Be like water, like seriously water takes the form of whatever it's in or around, but um, I think that's important. If you're going through a lot of chaos, like you said, you're basically saying it like, just don't force it sit and just allow it to flow past you yes, you literally don't, don't engage, do not engage do not engage, not engage. Oh, that's a hey, that's a ball.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you, man, I'm learning so many lessons in 2025.
Speaker 1:2025 is your year to learn everything you need to learn.
Speaker 2:Because, baby, what they say, 2026 is my year, okay, 2026 is yours. No, that's just what the people say. I have another question for you. Yeah, people say I have another question for you. Yeah, so how you so eloquently put it talking to siege, you are, you, you know. Shout out to cj. He's crazy. You were. You're open to to love, yeah, so how's that going for you well?
Speaker 1:I thought it was not a podcast episode. I mean like not a A love episode.
Speaker 2:A relationship. Well, you said I could ask anything, and it just made me think about that.
Speaker 1:Well, I guess I'm not. This doesn't have to be about relationships.
Speaker 2:No, it's not.
Speaker 1:That's going well. So what you're saying is like am I open to initiating something myself with a woman? Am I open to initiating something?
Speaker 2:myself with a woman. Well, I know that you are, but I was just wondering how it was going in general, because you're open to it. So like is something going? Like do you have?
Speaker 1:a prospect. Ebbs and flow. I'm just letting things flow and letting things ebb. He get my nerves.
Speaker 2:Do you have a prospect? Prospects more. You shouldn't have one right now it should be multiples.
Speaker 1:Man, that's a lot of competition and you know what?
Speaker 2:my my best friend tells me that all the time she's like you don't need to just be trying to talk to one person you need to have options, but I the type of person that I am, it's so hard for me to try to talk to multiple people and just talk like not, you know, being intimate or anything like literally just talk like I can. But it's very hard and I think that helps too. Like it helps. With it you're not like attached to just one person, I think that.
Speaker 2:that's my issue, you can like, wean out the icky ones. You can wean those out.
Speaker 1:I think that's my issue, though I think I don't want to talk to multiple people.
Speaker 2:No, I do not when I say I don't want to that's a lot of energy. Yes, look, do you know how many times I got to tell you what I do every day like yo, I gotta tell you my career in a past life J Stone was not a great guy.
Speaker 1:He was not a great guy. He entertained multiple women and it's a lot of energy and I do not want to do that again. I would never do that again and I think that's why I'm like.
Speaker 2:That's why you like real like, not right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah like well, it's not, even not right now. It's like a more selective, like not right now. Yeah, like well, it's not, even not right now. It's like a more selective, like I know I can sense energy and I know what energy is more compatible right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, like, who could come in and fit like a glove at this moment, because each moment I'm evolving, everybody's evolving, so there may be another moment where somebody else is a little bit more compatible with that moment. I think it's important to have somebody that is not completely compatible but closely, you know, um conformative to your moment. At your end, if you're gonna so you can build off of that. Now, if you got somebody that's completely like, you know not, but they're hot and you want to talk to them, or whatever, no it the issue is it's it could get somewhere physically, but it won't get anywhere spiritually or mentally or emotionally so that's jay stone.
Speaker 2:If they're hot, jay stone will talk to them.
Speaker 1:But dr great, just because they're hot dr grace, dr great, so you ever listen to the song poison, poison, yeah, so so that song is like, in my mind, three different perspectives. And um, you have justin, you have dr gray and you have jay stone, jay stone, the guys like me and the crew used to do a time me and the crew used to do.
Speaker 1:That's funny, that's so funny, yo, but it's crazy because I karaoke that in the car every time, but it's funny. Um, but I think that when it yeah, I'm very weird, but when it comes to me like, like, I don't want to entertain multiple people, so I I like I would prefer to make a great decision which may take a little bit of time, yeah you know, versus just like out here just entertaining multiple people, just being distracted. Man, women take a lot of work, especially if they're like you know men take a lot of work too.
Speaker 1:For sure, don't do that yeah, I would never disagree with that. I think everybody takes a lot of work, but when it comes to, like you know, dating certain women, it's, it could be a handful.
Speaker 2:Certain women that's going to be on your level. You got to put it all out there because you're not just going to be dating anybody. You got a PhD.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's unpack that, bro, and I wouldn't let you just date.
Speaker 2:What do you?
Speaker 1:mean, you're a doctor, you know what? I don't understand that. You know my one of my academic advisors. He literally like, he's uh, he has a very thick african accent. He's like justin, you have a phd now, man, you're gonna get all the girls, the women gonna love you, he's. He always says it's so funny, literally I went and saw one day and he literally calls me in his office. He's like, uh, come to the office right now. Oh, like, I'm teaching class. He's like, hey, I need you right, like, not like an aggressive tone, but hey, it's an emergency, come to the office. I go to his office and I said, hey, what's going on? He was like he, oh he, it was this girl in his office. Literally it was this girl in his office and I'm like what's going? Like what is going? And he was like, oh, justin, uh, meet xyz. I'm like, bro, I'm teaching class right now. What is?
Speaker 2:going on for a woman but no, he.
Speaker 1:I guess in his mind he was like, oh, this person would be great, a great fit, because she's intelligent, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know he was he's matter of fact, everybody is in my life now Only matchmaking on 10. Like Justin, all right, check this out. Oh, justin, look.
Speaker 2:I don't do that. So you guys, you, can't say everybody. I appreciate you Because I don't want you doing that to me. I got you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, matchmaking is crazy work.
Speaker 2:No, but it makes sense. I don't mean to cut you off, but it makes sense. Like, and this is the crazy part, you got to be careful because I, I know a little something now. Okay. Okay, women want lawyers, they want doctors. They don't care if it's a research degree, a general, you know, surgeon, dentist, they want doctors, they want lawyers. I say that already. They want judges. That that's what they want because they want somebody to take care of them.
Speaker 2:So you gotta be careful, you gotta make sure you find somebody that's on your level, that's not trying to live a soft life they're trying to live a real life, okay, okay yeah, so you have to be careful huh, I, I keep that in mind. Yeah, right, you know what I just look look all right all right do you have any questions for me before we wrap up? Yeah we gotta wrap up.
Speaker 1:I do not have that. Oh, I do. Oh, I I do want your perspective on this. Do you feel like this is a question from one of our listeners and our past guest, chrissy? Chrissy, she wanted to know what are your thoughts on soulmates and do you think you only have one or multiple?
Speaker 2:What's my thoughts on soulmates?
Speaker 1:Do you believe in soulmates?
Speaker 2:I think I haven't experienced. I don't think I've experienced a soulmate.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I probably got a soulmate out there somewhere.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:But I feel like a soulmate. You can have a friend that's a soulmate too.
Speaker 2:Never saw her like that, so if you do, then that's multiples, cause it can be like a. That's a soulmate too. So if you do, then that's multiples, because it can be like a lover as a soulmate and a friend as a soulmate, like some people literally have very solid friendships where they feel like they are, they are literally soulmates. Um yeah, I haven't experienced a soulmate, though, so I don't really have too much to say about that okay, maybe one day, you know you're healed how you feel about that.
Speaker 1:Um, I think you know, so my answer would be more scientific of course, dr gray. Okay, I'll make it simple, but I'll keep it, like you know, short. So I feel like quantum physics and the conscious, or consciousness, is correlated in a lot of different ways. It could be. You know the science of, or vice versa, I think, at some point in our life or our, you know physical life, but our conscious kind of links up with someone else.
Speaker 1:You've heard of quantum, quantum entanglement, all right, so yeah, don't worry about it let's say all right, let's just say that I think and this is just conscious related I think that two people could be on the same wavelength, literally, right, um, vibrations and frequencies, whatever you want to call it and I think that they could be literally so tethered that they could be going through something similar in life in terms of emotions and experiences, and I think that in itself could be a form of your soulmate.
Speaker 1:And when you meet that person, everything, everything, just like amplifies and you feel it and it's almost like second nature, like everything that you do or say is almost like whoa, like this is familiar and this feels good, and you really amplify each other. And so I think there's a, there's a instance where there is a soulmate and I don't know like how to describe it yet, but I think it's definitely related to like quantum physics or quantum entanglement and a consciousness, right. I think those two, those two topics you know immerse or together can probably explain, can probably explain soulmates a lot better. I'm diving into that actually, so that's one of my like moments where I like to geek out. I love quantum mechanics, quantum physics, anything quantum related into that actually.
Speaker 2:So that's one of my like moments where I like to geek out I love, yeah, I love quantum mechanics, quantum physics, anything quantum related.
Speaker 1:That's my, that's my like, uh, like, well, that's my interest in terms of like science.
Speaker 2:I love science do you think you've met a soulmate? Because I feel like you can meet a soulmate and then y'all can grow apart yeah, I, I think you could, because I think so.
Speaker 1:Back to that, the example I just placed, like you guys are like linked up, I think there could be something that occurs, that that, uh, if we're talking in terms of wavelengths, that can kind of amplify one but, you know, minimize the other wavelength and you guys kind of get off off track in that sense, so you're no longer vibrating or no longer like synced up or aligned, and I think, truly, when you guys separate it takes time for both of those wavelengths to balance out right. So I think yes, to answer your question. I think yes, I think, depending on like you know the hurt, you know the emotions involved or the influences from outer, you know from external things to each person, I think that can be an effect on, can have an effect on the two soul mates and they can be ripped apart but still in each other's like mindset, conscious, like literally. I think that's the possibility for sure, and you know, like you, you know if you're tethered to someone yeah truly, because you like and you just feel it right and you can't explain that feeling.
Speaker 1:It's like one of those quality of things where it's like, uh, you know, you can't, you don't know what, how to describe an itch. It's just something you can't explain. So, yeah, um, it was a good question, so let's do you have anything else, that's a good answer.
Speaker 2:It shows your wit, dr Gray, I try not to.
Speaker 1:I try to give people Justin because they oh speak. Nobody wants Dr Gray, everybody just.
Speaker 2:I love education, so I love Dr Gray. Yeah, I can.
Speaker 1:I can go there and I love to geek out if we can geek out, but, uh, let's wrap this thing up.
Speaker 2:So, um, any things for our listeners no, y'all just keep following along, going along with the ride. We're trying to be consistent over here yes, ma'am, she's keeping us consistent guys.
Speaker 1:Uh like, share, subscribe. If you have any questions that you want to hear us answer on the pod, send us a message through TikTok or YouTube, which should be up pretty soon. We're going to post all the content to YouTube.
Speaker 2:Good, bad gray on TikTok. He's awful.
Speaker 1:Alright, let me say that again, it's good, bad, gray on TikTok and the podcast. If you're listening, is the good, the bad and the gray if you're just listening, and, uh, is the good, the bad and the gray on all podcast platforms. So, um, if you don't have anything else, we, I don't, we are out. See you next time, guys bye.
